Microvascular Decompression, the good, the bad, the first few days.

I have to preface this with the fact that I am on pain killers and Muscle relaxers so please forgive any typos, or ramblings, I'll do my best. 

Day 1-I checked into the hospital at 5:15A.M.  After changing into my flattering hospital gown I laid in a bed a Cory and I proceeded to talk to a nurse about Trigeminal Neuralgia for about an hour while waiting for surgery.  You could tell by her questions that they don't see a lot of it in the hospital.  Then everyone that would be assisting in the surgery came, introduced themselves, and explained what they would be doing in the OR.  A few things I wasn't expecting... There was a woman in the OR just to monitor my nerves.  I guess during the surgery she would check them throughout to make sure they continued to function.  The Anesthesiologist also surprised me with the fact that he would be adding a second IV to more accurately monitor my vitals.  After a few panicy wonderings of what I was about to let these people do to me, and visions of my head in the vice that I knew it would shortly be in it was time to go.  The Anesthesiologist gave me something in my IV that seemed to have me out before we even got to the OR.

Waking up-As I had predicted they woke me up sober.  No pain meds until I answered a series of questions which took me a while because I didn't wake up enough to speak for over an hour.  I would come in and out, in pain of course.  At some point during this I asked how it went.  Before I knew it, the doctor was standing over me saying that they found a whole bunch of arteries pushing on the nerve (a slight exageration but a welcome one).  This was such a big deal because until getting into the surgery he didn't know for sure what he would find and ofcourse that makes anyone nervous because the worst would have been waking to find out that I had A-tpical Trigeminal Neuralgia where in the problem lies within the actual nerve itself and they can't fix that.  Finally I answered the questions, What's your full name?  Where are you and why?  What year is it?  How bad is the pain?  As soon as I was done answering, Pain management began and I was off for the ICU.  I don't remember when Cory got there but we were both elated about the results of the surgery.  We did have something going into the surgery that the Neuroseurgeon didn't, the promise that I had recieved in two priesthood blessings.  The first came before I had even been diagnosed 2 days after I had my tooth pulled in March, and we realized that we were dealing with something more than a difficult tooth problem.  Our Home Teacher and Elders Quorum president came over and our home teacher gave me a great blessing.  The blessing said that doctors would accurately diagnose me and be able to cure me.  Within 11 days a big part of that happened.  I found my neurologist who diagnosed me and then my Neuroseurgeon who confirmed the diagnosis and offered the hope of having the surgery.  From there it was a matter of faith on our part.  The night before the surgery our elders quarum president came over to help Cory give me a blessing that said very straight forwardly that the surgery would be a success and that my recovery would go well.  From that moment on We both felt much more relaxed and comfortable with less anxiety that I would wake up with bad news. 

The doctor gave Cory pictures of the before and after as he had hoped to be able to.  I had not just one artery running alongside and pushing on the nerve but another wrapped around it as well.  The doctor was able to pull the arteries away and pad in between them to keep them off of the nerve.  Those pictures were a sight to see after all that grief and pain.  It was proof and it was fixed, done and done! 

That first day I felt alright and after keeping ice chips and water down the ICU nurses let me eat.  Luckily since it was past luch time at the hospital Cory was able to get me Gluten Free Subway at the Subway in the hospital.  I scarfed that down with a GF brownie, a fruit leather, and some chips.  I managed to eat all that without any nausea and took a little nap.  Our bishopp stopped by for a visit then after Cory and he had gone I took one bite of something that the hospital called dinner that I'm sure came from a can and got nausious for the first time.  Long story short is that the hospital food a was terrible!  Every hour for the first night the nurses were in doing neurological tests on me.  Push with your feet, pull with your feet, squeeze my hand, smile, stick your tongue out, what's your name, who's the president?  They also woke me up at 3A.M. to draw blood, at 4A.M for a sponge bath, and wheeled me off for a CT scan at 4:30A.M.  This is not my idea of a relaxing and restfull night condusive to recovery from surgery.

The 2nd day-After making it through the CT They took me back to my room.  At that point I hadn't even sat up straight but the nurses insisted that I sit in a chair to eat my powdered eggs, fake bacon, and rolled up corn tortilla.  I ate a strip of bacon a bite of eggs and almost threw up.  The combination of sitting up and eating fake disgusting food was to much.  I called the nurse and went back to bed.  That afternoon I got to go to a regular room on the Neurosurgical ward.  They took out my cathedar and several other things I was hooked up to and wheeled me off.  I was greeted when I arrived by two great friends/Yougn Women's leaders Joy and Sarah and 4 Young Women, Katie, Hannah, Haley and Isabelle and some beautiful flowers, lets not forget the Angel bear with wings: )  It was great to see them!  Cory and the kids came shortly afterward for a bit and then 2 friends from the ward Valerie, and Jen stopped by as well.  Having visitors was a nice distraction and wore me out enough to get some good sleep.  At 3A.M. I called the nurse to help me to the restroom and for the first time realized that even though the white board in my room said that the goal for the day was to manage my pain it really meant "Haley needs to ask for meds on her own."  Why they were letting the meds lapse I don't know but I din't get them until I asked.  Once they pain meds lapse it is harder to control the pain which I learned form going through the TN pain and am now being reminded of. 

The 3rd and final day at the hospital- Going home 3 days after brain surgery seems drastic but as the doctor said while discharging me "we don't want to keep your here and get you sick now, do we."  Very good point!  Plus, they only thing they had that I don't at home that is to be missed is the up and down bed.  Since they cut into my neck muscle it is very hard to move my body period without aggrevating that muscle especially while trying to sit up and lay down.  Other than that home is better than being in the hospital by far.  Cory and Darion came to pick me up at about 12:30P.M. and we were off.  The car ride wasn't fun since the bumps hurt my head/neck and walking into the house felt close to a marathon after only standing a few times in the past few days but once in bed it felt great!  My first night home our friends Lexi and Troy came by to bring dinner, flowers and visit for a bit.  Not only was the meal amazing but it was so nice to see them.  Later our friends Jeff and Kelly came by for a visit with flowers and a balloon. 

Night 3, my first night home- The doctor now has me cutting down on my Lyrica which I will hopefully be off of soon.  I'm supposed to take it at night since it makes me drowsy but the nurses gave it to me in the morning before I left the hopital so I didn't want to take it again in the same day.  Thanks to that little mess up I spent my first night home in cold sweats and shakes from detoxing off the Lyrica.  I experienced this before while experimenting with the doses so I knew it would be like this but the hope was that the pain meds would help, I don't think they are.  Cory broke a pill open this morning to give me a small dose after he woke up to help with the detoxing symptoms.

Day 4- I don't know what I thought I would feel like but I know I didn't predict this.  Until you go through it I guess you can't really understand.  I'm tired, sore, and it hurts to move.  I know it's all worth it and is getting a little better everyday.  I'm not used to staying in bed.  As a Mom usually no matter how sick you feel something pulls you out, but not with this.  Cory is here to take care of me and the kids, then my Mom, then his Mom, take turns flying in to help out.  I now understand how necessary that will be.  I can't even take care of myself let alone 4 kids.  It's hard to sleep with the kids in the house but I'm going to have to try harder to do that.  I'm like an old lady that doses off when I'm not busy talking or doing something but I need to try harder to get real sleep since I know it will help with recovery. 

Life is like a box of Chocolates... unfortunately, some have nuts.

This picture was taken before Easter.  The wonderful Mia Maids in my ward did a surprise Easter Egg hunt in our front yard for our kids.  The kids loved it!

Life is like a box of chocolates...  unfortunately some have nuts.  But I guess that's part of life, biting into the chocolates with nuts and having to learn to appreciate the chocolate flavor even if it is a little tainted.  Did I mention that I'm not a fan of nuts, gross! 
  Cory looked at me the other night and said "I can't believe you are having brain surgery."  To hear him put it that way was a little off putting.  When I go to the doctors and they talk about it ofcourse they use the technical term for it "Microvascualr Decompression" but in a nutshell it's a type of brain surgery.
  We've known this was coming but didn't think it would come so soon after diagnosis.  My Neurosurgeon gave me the steps to follow, #1-Take the medication to see if it works which will help confirm the diagnosis if it does. #2-Stay on the medication until the side effects become to much to handle.  #3-take another medication until the side effects become too much to handle or the medication stops working.
  I gave steps 1 and 2 a go and can't imagine continuing on this medicine let alone starting a new one.  It's a blessing that the medicine has taken away the pain but it has come at a huge price.  the side effects started fairly mildly compared to how they have evolved with exhaustion and weight gain.  I now lack motivation, feel depressed, am confused and forgetful all the time, and have acne worse than ever.  That is on top of the already existing exhaustion and weight gain of 8 pounds that luckily stopped at 8pounds but apparently won't go away until I'm done with these meds. 
  I went to my Neurosurgeon last week, explained the situation and he gave me 2 options.  #1-Switch to the second medicine that will cause the same side effects and possibly blood diseases.  #2-Have the surgery now.  I chose option #2.  It wasn't a difficult decision knowing that I would have the surgery sometime this year anyway.  Taking the meds was just prolonging the inevitable and I am miserable taking these meds.
  I go in for surgery May 25th.  For now I am trying to prepare in all the aspects of my life for a major 6 week recovery.  My surgeon says that I'm not allowed to lift, bend, or raise my heart rate during the recovery.  For the first 6 weeks I'm limited to non strenuous walking.
  I feel like I'm nesting as if I were having a baby, but without that wonderful surge of energy that is so necessary for the cleaning and organizing that I wish I could do. 
  I feel down a lot lately but I keep reminding myself as to how lucky I am to live in a time and to be in good enough health to undergo this surgery that will take the most horrible pain in the world away.  If this were the year 1912, I would likely be laying in bed in agony like I did in January and February of this year, but with no hope of a cure.
  I am longing for the day that I don't have to take any more medicine and I can go on with life pain free.  I know it's coming and I just have to be patient.

Cory and I got to go to a Nascar race at the Texas Motor Speedway. 

It was tons of fun but what was really hilarious was watching the guys oogle over the cars.  It's definitely an experience I'd recommend regaurdless of whether you are into Nascar or not.  Hearing, seeing, and feeling the power of those cars in person was impressive.

The kids after one of Alyssa's dance performances. 

Man, they are getting so big but continue to be adorable.